Burnout recovery milestones

Everyone's journey is unique. It's long but there is hope. Here are my milestones and what I wish I'd known before about recovery.

Earlier this week I had a really lovely conversation with another Substack writer and burnout warrior, Dan Bartlett of Not Out, But Through.

One of the things we discussed was how much burnout affected our love of reading, and how rediscovering the energy, concentration and joy of reading has formed a significant part of our recoveries. For Dan, part of how he is able to quantify and measure his burnout recovery currently is by how many books he is reading, the speed at which he can read, and what he is able to take away from them too.

At the height of my burnout I didn’t even have the energy to wash, clean my teeth or wash my face let alone read. Despite this, I was still turning up to work and doing a good enough job, right up until crisis. From the outside it looked like I was coping- because this is what burnt out people do, until they hit a crisis and cannot physically carry on- and the self neglect was not evident to others.

Starting to look after myself was one of the first big steps in my recovery. I’m not talking about self care in the superficial and glossy aesthetic it has become on social media, I’m talking basis self care such as getting dressed, eating something, washing my face. I only did these things at the start because my husband made me accountable, but my motivation was rock bottom and it was a huge challenge.

Baby steps.

The next significant milestone in my recovery was during a very mundane outing with my children. I suddenly had a moment of realisation that I was enjoying myself.

I hadn’t experienced genuine happiness or joy for so long that the novelty and the force of the sensation hit me hard. It was significant because I’d become so lost in the despondency of burnout that I’d forgotten what it felt like to feel happy. At the time I became quite emotional. I remember welling up, feeling overwhelmed and angry that the burnout had robbed me of enjoying time with my children whilst they were still very young, whilst very grateful that I could actually feel something good again. I liked how it felt, and wanted more.

Keep doing therapy.

The realisation that there were more good days than bad was a big milestone. That one felt like a huge relief.

Don’t sweat the bad days. It doesn’t mean the burnout’s coming back. Calm, breathe, make space, don’t panic.

Being able to have the energy, concentration and focus to start reading for pleasure, and engaging in physical activity and socialising again was a big milestone.

The recovery journey hasn’t been straightforward, and unfortunately I did have a slide 2 years after the initial burnout.

But now, 4 years on, I can finally say that the old Claire is back. I’ll likely carry the scars for some time, but I think I can say that I’m there now. It’s taken a lot of hard, deep work to do it, but I’ve done it. I hope in sharing my milestones that I can give a bit of hope to anyone that is currently experiencing burnout themselves.

Here’s what I wish I knew about recovery back then:

1. It takes so much longer than you think- 1 to 3 years according to the data (Bernier, 1998)- so be kind and compassionate to yourself, and have patience

2. Recovery is not linear. Not every bad day means you’re sliding again, but if those bad days become more persistent, or if your symptoms of burnout are getting worse then early intervention is crucial. This happened to me, and I was lucky enough to recognise it before I hit another crisis and I got the medical and psychological help I needed

3. Respect your burnout. Recovery is slow because of the huge number that burnout does on your brain and body. Your new normal will be frustrating beyond belief, but you cannot rush things.

4. There is a known recovery pathway in burnout: crisis → distancing from work → restoration of health → revision of values → exploring work options → making a change. Follow the process and things will fall into place with time.

5. You will have to do some pretty hard sh!t during your recovery, like therapy (I dreaded my therapy sessions!!), and making some difficult decisions about what changes need to happen to stay well. It’s not easy, in fact it’ll probably be the hardest challenge you’ve faced. Truthfully, anyone that gets through burnout is a resilient badass. You are incredible and you will get there.

If you would like me to talk a bit more about burnout recovery then please do let me know in the comments! I hope that sharing a bit of my journey has been helpful.

I’ve recently co-founded a company that aims to help women navigate workplace challenges, manage stress and prevent burnout! We use cutting edge AI via WhatsApp to deliver expert coaching advice and teach women the skills to make their work life work for them. I am SO excited about being part of this and genuinely wish that this had been available during my own burnout. It’s free to use, available 24/7 and all your conversations are confidential. Find out more here: www.bobby-chat.com